How I feel When…

1. When some teacher praises my work and shows it to the whole class…

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2. When I finally understand a concept after staring at it for hours and hours…
Moment of true enlightenment.

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3. When I get an email other than notifications and promotions…
Someone knows I’m really alive and they care about me!

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4. When I say something among my friends and it comes out as something else…
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Embarrassment. Laughter. Laughter. Laughter.

5. When someone takes any one or both of my favorite pillows…

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6. When I blurt out the wrong answer in class with full confidence…

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7. When someone criticizes or points out my weight or certain body parts…
Hate it.

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8. When I cry in the middle of an argument…
‘Tears of anger’ which ultimately gets mistaken as ‘tears of repentance’.

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9. When my ‘elder’ sister eats my share of chocolates after devouring hers without giving me a single piece…

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10. When my parents don’t listen to what I say and later realize I was correct…
Always happen when we get lost in the parking lots.

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11. When my blog gets a follower, a like or a comment…

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And whatever emotion or feeling you’re having right now, just forget it because it’s CHRISTMAS!!

Wish you all a Merry Christmas!

A rainy day

It was dark and cloudy outside. She was sitting by the window waiting for the raindrops to hit the ground, for the sound always filled her empty heart with happiness.
Without any warning, rain splattered hard against her window, drawing her gaze towards it. At the same time, the doorbell rang. Fussing she stood up and went to see the visitor demanding her attention at this pleasant moment.
She opened the door to find a young man standing there. She felt something warm inside her heart. He felt it too. That was the beginning of a story as beautiful as the refreshing rain that would fill all the emptiness she felt in her whole life.

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When I Leave You

When I leave you,
Shed no tears;
Cause meet we will one day
In a place better than here.

When I leave you,
Say no goodbye;
Cause goodbyes signify ends
But it’s no end: for there’s a long road ahead.

When I leave you,
Let no sadness take home in your heart;
Cause sorrow’s got no place in your heart
For it’s the place for love and happiness.

When I leave you,
Think not of my absence;
Think rather what my presence did,
Those moments that makes us special.

Cherish those happy memories,
Keep them close to your heart
And we sure will have
A happy reunion in a better place.

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Talking to computers….

If you ask me what is the most difficult thing to talk about, I would say there is nothing unless you are talking to a computer which records everything you say. Trust me! Talking to non-living thing is the worst experience in the world.
I always feel that we feel confident to talk to a person or a group of people just because of their mere presence and their listening ears. When we talk to someone, we look into their eyes and they look into ours and we exchange this positive vibe which is inexplicable. That’s what keeps us going. Even when we are on a stage, quivering with nervousness, we blurt out something or the other (even if it makes no sense) because we can feel the power of the existence of a person in front of us.
When I was in 8th grade, our Hindi teacher decided to make each of us do an impromptu speech each day. Unfortunately or fortunately I was the person on the second day. My name is called. I walk to the front of the class Hear the topic. Starts to speak. It was a time when I had no mastery in the language. Blurted something out for what seemed like infinity. What my teacher told was she was pretty much impressed by my boldness. Well, everyone feels confident when they know nothing. However, if I was fair enough, I would have been deep red by the time I reached my seat. The blood rising and it was getting hotter and hotter. I could feel it. What I wanted to say by the incident cited above is that I was able to talk because of the presence of my classmates and teacher.
Last Saturday, I took an English test required for studies abroad where the whole test was on the computer. There are advantages, I agree. But then, the speaking section. Oh! Come on, how can anyone evaluate someone’s communication skills by what he/she tells to a computer as a reply to a recorded question. When you look at the screen, what do you see? A blank screen. And what does a blank screen bring to your mind? Anxiety. How can a nervous, anxious person speak confidently to a blank screen knowing that no one’s on the other end? We are not youtubers or anything. That positive connection is missing. Without this positive connection transmitted from our eyes communication can never be successful.
I don’t actually know whether I’m talking sense or not. Tell me below if you feel there really is a positive vibe.
Or else it may be just my hangover of messing up the speaking section very badly in the English proficiency test.

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A cry – Poem

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The first thing my eyes ever saw
Was my mother’s face
But the first euphony that reached my ears
Was of gunshots and explosions.
All I got to see was guns and bombs,
Held by men with red cold eyes
Whose mere sight left me trembling with fear.
Came a God sent flicker of hope-
A new life in a land far away across the seas.
Middle of the oceans where none saw no land
My thoughts wandered into the depths,
What wrong have we DONE?
All the tears we shed can make up an ocean
But so busy is the world
To take a peek at our helpless state.
There! There is the land!
And we got off
Not knowing the hurdles waiting for us.

Here is a painting I stumbled upon on the Internet. It is a heartbreaking painting of Aylan by Gunduz Aghayev.

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I’m Glad I Learned – Challenge

Here’s the response to the challenge to me by StephJ from https://scalesimple.wordpress.com/

1. Being yourself is the best solution
A situation where I had to choose between being myself and being who the people around me expected me to be was when I changed school in my 8th grade. I’m quite a quiet person in nature. It does take a bit of time for me to adjust to a new place. And the conclusion was made by the students that the new girl was snooty and thought was a know-it-all.
The nights of endless crying are infinite. The solace was a friend who seemed to be the only person who understood me. It was hard for me to approach the others due to the fear of being misjudged. I even contemplated about being more like them – gossiping about each other, talking openly about personal stuff including petty matters like ‘I slept with my Mom yesterday’, making up stories…. But that just wasn’t me. All I did during the 1st year there was help anyone who asked me for saying no straight to the face is something I find difficult to do. Then, wish them in the morning – they felt it weird at first but soon I was getting wishes back. And basically remain the same as I was.
And by the end of that year one of them confessed that they didn’t like me at first but then realized they had a wrong idea about me and now they LIKED me!

2. A few words of encouragement, support and love can make a huge difference in one’s life
This is an incident I can never forget. In India, 10th grade is considered the most important year in one’s schooling. The year of board exams. It is that one year when you, your parents, teachers, before and basically everyone wishes and prays to go well without any hindrances. But unfortunately for me everything seemed to get oppressive.
It was depression taking its toll. In the first term, I somehow managed to get through even after missing quite a lot of classes. But second term it went out of my hands. I missed classes for two whole months of the five months in the term at the starting itself during which a huge chunk of the syllabus was completed. It came to a situation where I decided to skip that year and write the exams the following year. My parents broached this thought with my teachers who weren’t ready to give up on me. Three of my teachers (one of them had taught me only once and wasn’t teaching me any longer) came to my house. Another teacher talked to me at school in the most supportive manner. They talked to me and I don’t know what really happened but those words of encouragement did give me the courage to go back to school. And their constant encouragement and love, though not conspicuous, helped me get A1 in all subjects.

3. One true friend is more than enough than hundred friends
This is a fact every person who has moved a place, at least once, would genuinely have realized. As mentioned above, I have moved places two times after I reached the age of understanding things, I guess. At both the places I made a lot of friends. A lot means lot. I was friendly with everyone; everyone seemed to like spending time with me. Altogether, friendship was stronger when present in person. And most of my close friends know I don’t feel comfortable talking on the phone. But does that mean you don’t care about them? And in the shifting process I lost the phone nos. too.
Two places. 17 years. 700+ friends on FB. From a huge number of friends I only have contact with two. But those two girls are my life. They make my life worth living. My belief that having a lot of friends is what gives one happiness was proved wrong by these two. They know me very well. And they obviously don’t mind not having frequent phone calls!

4. Respect and love is earned and not forcefully taken
So I had this teacher in 9th and 10th grade who was pretty rude. Her scolding was always unbearable, even to the ones who just happen to be there at that moment. No one actually liked her behavior. Even though her teaching was good, she wasn’t always there in the favorites list. And this particular teacher for some reasons I still have no clue on hated me. She always acted like I was never there even at times I was right beside her. She avoided me all the time. It hurt like hell. But nothing could be done. Once I couldn’t submit my book for correction as I was absent (again depression). I was all jitters and when I told her it came out as “my book isn’t corrected’. She became furious and told I was blaming her. “I didn’t blame you” I replied flatly. I think my voice was a little bit raised. And the flames just blew into a wild fire. I cried, more because of my anger than sadness. Then it lead into a talk between both of us, immediately joined by other teachers.
After that incident we both acted like things were smooth between us but we both knew it just a show. We couldn’t earn others love and respect and the fault lies in both of us.

5. Marks and grades are not the most important things in life
If one peeps into Indian education system, the aim of education is to get good marks. I’m not kidding. It’s a true fact. Getting A1 in all subjects in 10th CBSE board exams my happiness knew no bounds. But at that time I didn’t know my life was going to take a different turn. 11th grade, even before the end of the second month I had to miss classes due to mood swings. Again depression! 11th and 12th in regular school without proper attendance is surely just gonna make me stressed out. So I had to choose NIOS (National Institute of Open Schooling), which is almost like formal version of home schooling. The worst thing is that there is a prejudice in Indian society that open schooling is for people who are less capable of studying and are looked down upon. But now I know it isn’t true. It’s circumstances that determine a lot in our life. And whatever be my marks, I chose to study, to learn.

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SMILE :)

“A smile is something you can’t give away; it always comes back to you.”

Once while sitting in a clinic, I happened to see an old lady, most probably in her 80s, sitting alone. She looked rather despondent and down-and-out. What made me notice her was she had a striking resemblance to my late Grandmother who left us when I was 8 years old. I smiled at the lady not expecting a response because who in  today’s world would smile at a total stranger. But the sudden huge generous smile in return filled my heart with happiness and serenity. It was also noticeable that she who came there with a gloomy face  was all smiles from that moment.

This was an incident which made me realize the true powers of a simple curve. So always go out with a smile on your face, give one to who has non and see its magical powers. And trust me smiling can even make you feel good. After all…. You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile 🙂

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It All Started with a Kiss and Ended with a Kiss

He didn’t know what was to come,
All he knew was He would have to endure pain.
She too didn’t know,
Just knew it would sting.

They were joined by a kiss.
An unforeseen bliss
In their anticipated sore life.
And there started their joyful life.

She waited for His touch each day.
He looked forward to Her feel every day.
Neither was complete without the other.
For their master too, needed them both.

The pain of being sharpened never bothered Him,
As long as He could be with Her.
And she too bore the scars of the stings proudly,
For they were symbols of true love.

But, their master wasn’t so pleased.
She was the first to go, rumpled into a ball.
Shortly came He, so small, so cannot be used.
But they were together.

In those last moments,
His tip was close to Her,
She could feel the sting, their last kiss,
In the bittersweet story of love
Between a pencil and a paper.

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LABYRINTH – A poem

Looked around,

Found myself in this labyrinth,

Labyrinth of life.

Left, right, left, right

Couldn’t find a way out.

What is this?

The result of my sins?

Or a test of God?

Find a way out,

Or stay here till the end.

No, I won’t.

Because light follows

Every dark night.

And my hard-work,

Will lead me to the light.

And now, here I am in the light.

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Seeding The Visionary Dream of Dr APJ Abdul Kalam

MISSILE MAN OF INDIA

MISSILE MAN OF INDIA

I first heard his name when I was in 1st grade (2003). “Who is the President of India?” my teacher asked. The same question came up even in the next two grades too. The answer was Dr APJ Abdul Kalam. Cutting his photographs and pasting it in the notebooks were a common homework. And in this process his face was vivid in my mind. But I never knew what a president was or what APJ Abdul Kalam did for the people.

After his tenure of presidency too, his name and his photos kept appearing before me through the television and newspapers. Even then I didn’t have any clue why he was so famous. But I loved him. I loved and adored him from the first time I saw his photo. His tranquil face, warm smile, eyes sparkling with enthusiasm, everything in him makes one feel like he is there next to you, more like a fatherly figure, who is always there to encourage you and guide you to the right path to success.

A small boy with a spark, born in a small island in India called Rameswaram, turned into a bright light with education, his will power and determination. This light appeared to motivate every Indian for 83 years, 9 months and 15 days. And to the shock of all Indians the light extinguished itself on 27th July 2015. Who would have thought a boy from a fishing family would become the first person of this country? Who would have thought he would play the pivotal role in the nuclear tests of India? After all he was a Muslim, coming from a poor family and even had to sell newspaper to win bread for his family. But he proved all those people wrong. He was determined and hardworking. He valued education the most. For Kalam, learning had no age and learning had its effect on everything, he had said,

“When learning is purposeful, creativity blossoms. When creativity blossoms, thinking emanates. When thinking emanates, knowledge is fully lit. When knowledge is lit, economy flourishes.”

Abdul Kalam burgeoned into a great scientist who made India prouder. His career started by making a small helicopter for DRDO. In 1969, he became the project director of India’s first indigenous Satellite Launch Vehicle (SLV-III) which successfully deployed the Rohini satellite. He considered joining ISRO his biggest achievement. IN 1965, he started working on expandable rocket project, which became more prominent in 1969. He was appointed Chief Executive of the Integrated Guided Missile Development Program, under which he played a major role in developing missiles including Agni, an intermediate range ballistic missile and Prithvi. He was the Chief Scientific Advisor to the Prime Minister and the Secretary of Defense Research and Development Organization from July 1992 to December 1999. He played an important role in the Pokhran-II nuclear tests. Well, his contributions to science and defense, though not known much abroad, are really remarkable. After all this was one of the things he was passionate about.

“Science is global. Einstein’s equation, E=mc2, has to reach everywhere. Science is a beautiful gift to humanity, we should not distort it. Science does not differentiate between multiple races.”

Kalam’s route to the Presidential post was rather intriguing and not something that happens often in India. Kalam was not the original choice for President in 2002. It was widely believed that PC Alexander, principal secretary to former PM Indira Gandhi, would get the job. Alexander, who was the governor of Maharashtra during Atal Bihari Vajpayee’s government, was acceptable to most of the NDA constituents. And his past made him believe that even the Congress would back him. To his dismay, Sonia Gandhi refused to back Alexander’s candidature. For a very brief period, it seemed vice-president Krishna Kant would get the job. But he was also denied the opportunity after being tipped off to be ready for the election. During this period, the BJP was trying to shed its rabid pro-Hindutva image — a pursuit that ultimately ended with LK Advani’s ill-fated paean to MA Jinnah. And Mulayam Singh, it is believed, offered a deal that the BJP couldn’t resist. (Ironically, when Kalam became the front-runner for the President’s post in 2012, it was Mulayam Singh who backed out at the last minute, paving the way for Pranab Mukherjee’s election.) When the Samajwadi Party agreed to support Kalam as the next President, a consensus soon developed even within the Congress to back his presidency. His election could have been unanimous, but for the Left’s decision to prop up Captain Lakshmi Sehgal as token of resistance. Kalam’s tenure had the potential of getting marred with controversies. But it is an ode to his personal integrity and administrative tact that he managed to steer India through a political storm.

Kalam wanted to educate and IGNITE the minds of the youth. He was constantly engaged in interactive sessions with students and young people even after his tenure as the President. That was what he loved most. He inspired us to set our aims high and bring glory to our nation while being a good member of the family, society and the nation. He told again and again that success and failure are part of life and we have to defeat failure. Be what you are, be unique, there is nothing wrong in this, he stressed.

“I have so far met 19.5 million youth of the nation in last two decades and learnt who wants to be unique. The world around you is doing its best day and night to make you just everybody else, including your relatives and friends.”

“To become ‘unique’ the challenge is to fight the hardest battle which anyone can imagine, until you reach your destination.”

Our dearest teacher loved teaching, being with students was all he wanted in life. Once a student asked why he wasn’t married. He answered that if he had been married he would not have been able to spend his full life to our nation and its students. I don’t think there was or there ever will be a person so dedicated to his country and had treated all children of the country as his own. And even bid adieu to us while doing his favorite job – talking to students. He believed in engaging ourselves in what we truly love till our time on earth and he was one those very few lucky people who got that opportunity.

Don’t shed a tear. He was a guiding spirit in our life. A person is not lost until we take them out from our heart.

Let us Seed the Visionary Dream of Dr APJ Abdul Kalam in our minds by taking this 10 point oath:
1. I will have a goal and work hard to achieve that goal. I realize that small aim is a crime.

2. I will work with integrity and succeed with integrity.

3. I will be a good member of my family, a good member of the society, a good member of the nation and a good member of the world.

4. I will always try to save or better someone’s life, without any discrimination of caste, creed, language religion or state. Wherever I am, a thought will always come to my mind. That is “What can I give?”

5. I will always protect and enhance the dignity of every human life without any bias.

6. I will always remember the importance of time. My motto will be “Let not my winged days, be spent in vain”.

7. I will always work for clean planet Earth and clean energy.

8. As a youth of my nation, I will work and work with courage to achieve success in all my tasks and enjoy the success of others.

9. I am as young as my faith and as old as my doubt. Hence, I will light up then, the lamp of faith in my heart.

10. My National Flag flies in my heart and I will bring glory to my nation.

‘I wanted to fly’ Kalam
Kalam said in 1941: I was 10 years and studying in class-V. Whenever my science teacher Subramanium entered the class he radiated knowledge and purity of life. One day he drew a sketch of a flying bird and explained how bird flies. ‘That day I not only learned how birds fly but my aim in life changed- I wanted to fly.’
I was an aeronautical engineer and I tried to be a pilot, but there were only nine seats and I was at the tenth place, I could not clear the physical exam.
“Sometime you don’t get what you want.”
In 2002 Indian leaders asked me to be president-I said OK. In 2005 when the chief of air staff came up to me I told him about my unfulfilled dream of becoming a pilot. The air chief asked me to go through the training and finally I flew for 30 minutes in April 2007.
The message is “If you dream and aim in life, gain and acquire knowledge and do hard work, defeat the problem then you will succeed,” said Kalam.

“Dream, Dream Dream
Dreams transform into thoughts
And thoughts result in action.”